Fall in Love

I always want my family to stay together and they say that I am the wife and it is in my hand whether we will stay together forever or not. They also say that relationship is like a tango, you can't dance without a partner and thus it is not just in my hand but it is also my husband's responsibility to make this work.

January of 2008 when my husband told me that he was to report on a new assignment in Camp Olivas at Pampanga. He was assigned to perform his police duty in the 3rd region. It was a heart breaking news for me but he assured me that he would only want to stay there for 6 months and he would go back to Manila so we could be together.

It is the 21st of September, 2009. He was in Zambales for 1 year and 9 months now. After his 6th month in Zambales, we were already arguing as to when he would be coming back to Manila. He has the choice to go back on an assignment here in Manila but he refused to take it because he said he is already happy in Zambales. It was so painful to hear that he was happier to work in Zambales than to be with me here in Manila. I was trying to be a good wife so I did not discuss that again with him. I have respected his decision that he is he is happier there...far from me.

It has been 1 year and 9 months. He will work in Zambales for days or weeks and he will be given a 2-4 days off from work so he could spend his time with us. But guess what? He will stay here in Manila for a day and he will go back to Zambales immediately. Ask him why and he will say that he has nothing to do here in Manila and so he just wants to go back. That is too much insult to an injury.

For the past months, it feels like I am not in a relationship at all. I have no one to talk to. I have no one to cry to. I am so envious of couple I am passing by. I am so jealous of my friends spending their time with their partners. While I am all alone, making myself happy with my kids and wishing someone could make me feel good.

I am so tired and stuck. I am married to him. I am not happy with him. I am just a human. I am a sinner. I am a good person. I am longing for attention. I am so thirsty of love. I am bored. I am sad. I am loooking for excitement. I want to feel love.

Is call center a less job?

When I was in college, call center industry was starting here in the Manila and it became very popular after my college. I think, call center became famous because of three things: 1. salary 2. the language you have to use 3. the nature of job. When I first heard of this kind of job, I thought it was a jackpot because you only need to pick up calls, answer questions and note down what was the call about and you will be getting a salary higher than a bank teller could get. Luckily, I became part of the wild, fun, adventure and stressful life of call centers. I obtained various experiences from directory assistance, customer service of a mobile phone company to technical support of dsl and computers.

Once I was at McDonalds behind FEU along Morayta. I was waiting for my sister who is studying there. There were two students across my table talking about how lazy and how stupid they were to get such a low grades. One of the student was scared not to finish school if he will not recover from her state of being moron. Then I heard her imbecile friend said "bat di ka na lang magcall center, ang kailangan lang naman dun magaling mag-english" I did not help myself but looked at both of them and saw the ignorance on their faces. I realized, they do not know what is inside the call center. Well, this is my point, a stupid like her would not pass a good and stable call center, maybe she could luckily get into fly by night call center or a call center that does not require people with brains to handle an account (thought I doubt there is any). English is a complex language, even Americans who speak it first could commit mistake with grammar or pronunciation. I don't think such a moron student could pass the call center interview. Well, she could be lucky and get hired, but... can she survive the pressure, can she handle the stress, can she win the battle of the fittest...well, I do not think so, because losers like her who cannot do good in school can never be good in call center as well. Then there came Randy Ortiz, he had a casual conversation with my bestfriend Melissa, who is a trainer in one of the know call center in Makati. Randy happens to be a friend of Melissa's lovelife, then this Randy told Melissa that she has not proven anything yet because Melissa is a call center employee. By the way, this Randy Ortiz has graduated dentistry but failed the board exam. Well, what can I say, Randy belongs to the narrow minded isolated group who thinks call center is nothing.

Let me reiterate to everybody that call center has saved the Philippine economy from sinking down. We should be grateful that there are people exerting all their efforts to make this industry a successful one because we are all benefiting from the income that this is giving us. I hope that when you meet another call center employee, you will think of how hard it is for them to work at night and please their customers, how much patience they are exerting to handle complaints and meet their metrics.

hate thing..

I have not been blogging lately. I got lazy doing it because I got sick, I mended some personal issues and here I am again.

Well, I am unemployed...again. It was a long story why I quit my job and I will be discussing that on my other blog articles. Since, I am not doing anything at home, I am left with no choice but to surf internet and browse the least to most interesting websites until I get to see a name that I really really hate--- Hera Angelica N. Sanchez.

Hera was my classmate at St. James College of QC on my third year. I found her pretty when I saw her first but the attitude was gross. She befriended me. I actually liked her at first. Later on, I realized that she was stabbing me at my back. There was one time that I was with Hera on the corridor of our building, I saw the CAT training below, I saw Michelle who was my "servicemate" and I find her snob and unfriendly. I pointed Michelle to Hera and told her how I feel about Michelle. The next morning, Michelle was screaming at me from hell. I cried that time. Hera saw me and asked me what was wrong but I told her that I was having problem at home. I do not know how but Hera found out that I was crying because I was confronted by Michelle and I really saw her laughing. She is such a devil. Her kuya, Mark Oliver is such a nice person and I doo not know where Hera got her devilish attitude. Upon browsing net, I saw that Hera has been successful with the career she chose and I really hope she has changed. I know her as devil,, selfish, ambition, poor little girl. She has made my life at St. James a whole hell. She was even telling people that I should not have joined the theatre group. She even asked me to cut my hair short because she did not want to see anyone else with long hair aside from hers. She is a selfish brat.

Update

It has been a while since I have not blog anything. A lot has happen. Something bad and something good. To start off, I passed the training, after all the nerve wracking certification---exams and mock calls, I am finally on the floor and taking in calls all on my own. Everybody passed the exam and that is really really...great. However, I did not get to the team leader that I want. I want Jen from the beginning because she is the kindest and most knowledgeable leader we have and so I want to go to the best...who does not want to?

I am so so busy now preparing for our graduation. We will be having it on May 15, 2009 at Red Box Greenbelt 4. I am so so excited. Nhed and I are also preparing for a skit that we could present on that date.

My birthday is coming up so soon as well but I am not feeling happy. There is an unexplainable sadness in my heart right now. I am hoping so much that this would change on the day of my birthday.

Big Mouth

A couple of weeks ago we were informed that we are to be dressed up today because the Netgear people and the managers of Datacom will be coming over. I dressed up my black polo blouse and ash gray skirt. I was so delighted to see my colleagues on their stunning neckties and slacks...except for one. Shud was on tee and jeans. It was actually ok. The hell everybody cares if someones is dressed down, but you can never escape their naughtiness. Shud was teased to dance or perform as penalty for not following what was agreed of. Of course, I rode on and teased him as well, I even got near him. I approached to him and I smilely said "sige na, unfair naman sa amen na naka dress up" and he was frowning, he faced me and said "wala akong pakelam sayo." I was quite shocked when he said that so I went back to my seat and shut my mouth up.

When I was sitting calmly to my chair, my heart was pounding fast and my nerve was wracking bad. I was hurt a lot. I was denying to myself that I was hurt but I was feeling it from the bottom of my heart and it was radiating outside my eyes. The next thing I realized was that tears were falling from my eyes. I walked out, went to the comfort room with hope that I could find comfort. Roger, my good friend, followed me and gave me the comfort I needed. I returned to class, sat down quietly and logged back in to my computer. I saw messages from Shud through my YM, but I closed it at once and did not bother to read what the messages were about. Come first break, he approached me and said "Mace, usap naman tayo" then I softly answered "saka na lang Shud" and walked away from him. After the break, he messaged me again on my YM and this time, I cared to read it. He was saying sorry. I was jaded. I was chafe. I was closed minded. I was in pain. In him, I am so vulnerable. It is so easy for him to hurt me...to attack me...to make me cry.

It was not supposed to be this big. I was not supposed to be this upset...but I am. I was told to let it pass, forget about it and talk to him as goof friends. I was checking my heart but I can't. My heart is still bleeding and still crying. I can't face him at all.

Boredom

It's our day 3 on our technical training, it is as boring as the frist day. Good thing everybody is techy so we could listen for a few sec and roam our thoughts again. Neo is actually a goor trainer. It is pretty obvious that he what he is doing. Our problem, perhaps, is the accent and lackness of sense of humor. I am really thankful to the wit of my batchmate that I could laugh and at least keep me alive...hooh! I will go back to training now.

Datacom

It was my first day at Datacom earlier. This is the company that I have been looking for. After leaving 247, I realized that I am really a technical person not customer service person. I am enjoying troubleshooting rather than plainly giving information nor processing requests.

Datacom is big in Australia and they have brought their business in Malaysia. They were handling Microsoft in Malaysia since last 90s and their relationship with Microsoft has been strong ever since. Datacom has been growing up fast because of well thought strategies and well managed people. Now, Datacom has arrived in Manila to give more opportunities for us.

I arrived in my new office at 8:30 in the morning. The office is plain and almost empty. Few more furnishing is needed as well. I met Kumar, my Malaysian trainer and my 30+ batchmates. As usual, there are few girls and most are boys. 75% of our class came from Dell, either from MOA or Libis. I can foresee that I will be enjoying this training. In few hours we were able to jive. As if we all know each other before.

Well, I am positive and excited that this company is the answer to my prayers. Welcome Datacom to the Philippines, welcome as well to my new colleagues. Got to sleep now, I will see everyone again tomorrow.